From darkness to light
by Sscullys
Summary: In the sequence of recent events Renji takes on his hands the task of doing the impossible: save Byakuya from a certain death. But what will be the costs?


**This story is something I needed to write in the sequence of the new bleach events. So I must say this may contain a bit of spoilers. This story is independent but can be interpreted in the sequence of Stolen, since Renji and Byakuya are already in a relationship. **

**I only needed to let out this part, so if you want me to continue, reviews are welcomed.**

Darkness…

As I lay in this vertical cement coffin I just feel the shame and sorrow invade me.

Shame I lost the battle, sorrow I will not live enough to make our dreams happen.

I will not last long… My only hope is there's still beating hearts out there, where I will keep living. I hope Renji's heart is still beating. That Rukia's heart is beating also.

I am thankful Renji knows. That Rukia knows. How much I love them.

Please Kami-sama, please let them be alive…

I can't sense reiatsu anymore, as all my powers leave my body in the rivers of blood that drip from my flesh.

Darkness...

That boy…

Am I still alive?

Not for so long,I feel so cold…

Are they alive?

Korusaki Ichigo, please!

Please save them…please save Soul society….

I feel so cold…

Suddenly is not so cold anymore.

Maybe I finally died.

Then I realize a warm body pressed against mine.

"Taicho"

His voice reach my ears with a puff of hot breath. I shiver. Why is my mind playing tricks on me? I long to ear his voice one last time. I want to hold him one last time.

To kiss him one last time…

But maybe it's better this way, he is so stubborn he would not let me go. If someone is stubborn enough to hold death by it's collar, that someone is my brash and stupid fukutaicho.

My dear Renji…

"Taicho…I'm here now…hang on…I will not let you die"

And I want to believe this is real, that someway Renji is recovered (but even if real, those short, difficult breaths tell me that he is badly hurt).

I want to believe I will die in his strong, tatooed arms…surrounded by his raging heat…

I force my mouth to whisper:

"I love you too Renji…"

"Then… you will forgive me …what I'm about to do"

I force my eyes open. A sea of unmistakable red is in front of me. I never smiled enough for you, not as much as you deserve it. I never made your mornings brighter with a grin, as you did to me. So I should at least give you my final weak smile. As you will have to endure the fact I died in your arms. Remember only my final smile, please.

"Good bye Renji…thank y-ou …for everyt…"

Pain pierces my body as rays ten thousand times stronger than Senbonzakura penetrate my skin, invading all my being. I though after enduring the attacks of my own Bankai I was spared of feeling pain. After all, there's even pain in death. Why Kami-sama? Why can't I die peacefully in Renji's arms? Why do I still have to bear this excruciating agony? Why does he have to whiteness this? My soul cracks open and all my live unfolds itself in front of me: my brash childhood…my grandpa…my father's death…the boring sessions with the elders…the first talk with Senbonsakura…the cuts…the training academy…the clan leadership…Hisana…that one blossom that punctuated her death and 50 years of emptiness...Rukia being accepted as a Kuchiki…a young and furious red haired man shaking at my passage…Rukia near execution...Renji bankai against mine…Renji body against mine…A small Rukia smiling in a shinning river while I catch fish…lazy afternoons sleeping on a tree…

Wow...what? What are these memories? As much as I wished I have done that, this is not real…

Someone chasing me and calling me thief…a brute man forcing my childish body against the wall…friends aliened graves…the training at academy…the first talk with Zabimaru…

Eh? This should be Renji's memories, he might have told me a few stories, but why am I imagining and feeling these …vivid images?

Rukia being stolen from me…that beautiful bastard walking by me…that beautiful bastard doing nothing to stop her execution…his grey eyes dilating at the sight of my bankai…his grey eyes dilating before climaxing…

Renji…what have you done!?

Please tell me you didn't…

But the mixed surge of our reiatsu is unmistakable. I can feel him completely now that my reiatsu is slowly returning. This odd red and white wave that engulfs our bodies together. The infusion of Renji's life force that is forcing it's way to my every fibber.

"Are you feeling better, Taicho?"

He must be joking right? If my body was not being held limp in his arms I would kill him right now with byakurai.

"You fool…you stupid, stupid fool…"

"yeah, I love you too, you can kill me later" and then the sound I craved to ear every morning tells me I am not going to die yet. With that laugher, Renji indeed held death by the collar and told it to get lost.

Soul bonding, the forbidden soul bonding was his stupid plan to save me! To save our dreams together. A minute too late and Renji would have died with me. Now, we no longer exist as individuals. We are this strange shinigami with two faces for the world, but that operates as one. As a straight holder of rules, I should order my own execution right away, but…I don't feel ashamed. I only feel pride for this being connected inside and outside my body. For the first time in my life I am not only happy we broke the rules, I am proud we did it. What the elders and soul society will say about it is another different story, but we can worry about it later since soul society is dying at every single heartbeat.

Together, we can make a difference.

"What will we do now?" I hear him whisper and smile against my neck.

"What we both wore born to do, fight and live or die fighting"

"Sounds a good plan. At least now if you die, I'll die with you…I just need to worry about keeping myself alive, damn it!" He grins and I feel those strings of irritation getting on my nerves as in old times.

"Baka, so let's make sure no one dies, Abarai fukutaicho." I try my feet against the floor and the anti-gravity muscles strangely work. I push a bit away from that hot chest and look into magma swirls.

"That man… those men…you never told me about it…"

He lowers his eyelids.

"Yeah, about that…I should have realized you would see it…"

Then a defying look pierces me to my very core

"Do you feel disgusted? Does it change anything?"

I feel the combined sting of pain in my own chest at my reply:

"Yes."

I put my hands around his face bringing it close for a soft kiss

"It makes me love you even more."

"You got me there for a moment Taicho!" he grins madly. Then in a lower voice, he indulges in the small pleasure only allowed inside our personal rooms:

"Byakuya…"

"There are people diing around us Renji, let's go! If my calculations are correct our combined shikai is bankai level. We should be able to kick some quincy ass now!"

I blush immediately as the worlds leave my mouth.

"What did you just say?" Renji laughs.

"It's taicho what did you just say to you, let's go!"

"Yes sir! Let's kick some ass!"

Oh, Kami-sama please help me, it's good to be alive, but why is my other half so giddy?


End file.
